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In this sharing, I  must say that 99% of my experiences are ineffable.  It is the 1% that I write about here.   Although, this may be too much revealed from that which is concealed as  direct lineage teachings.  I would like to make it clear that I did not seek out most of these experiences, they came to me.  Almost as if I have been fulfilling Sacred contracts my whole life. The fact that I was invited into these circles speaks volumes of the Blessings and great honor bestowed upon me.  I continue to be beyond grateful and filled with great respect for the elders.   

WARRIORS WISDOM  LAKOTA   APACHE  YAQUI   ZUNI

Sweat Lodge 

My first sweat lodge was north of Baltimore, MD in 1990.  I was invited to join in repairing an old Lakota sweat lodge and then participated in the ceremony.  I had a vision of a white eagle and felt connected to the stars.  I heard the words Chief Blue Thunder.  In 2005 I visited a Lakota grandmother Germaine, who confirmed that the vision I had in 1990  of Chief Blue Thunder was real.  She told me that Chief Blue Thunder is the head Chief of the Thunder Beings.    

Warriors Wisdom 

In 1991 I was given a book by Stuart Wilde called the Quest that is about being an initiate on the path of life.  I knew I wanted to study with him.  I signed up for a 4-day course called Warrior’s Wisdom that would take place in Taos, NM in July 1991.  I planned to spend 2 weeks in the southwest even though I had never been off the east coast or above sea level.   I arrived in Taos, New Mexico along with 100 other participants from all over the world.  We were put in 10 groups of 10. The course included:  Meditation, sweat lodge, fire walking, teachings on initiation and a ropes course.  The ropes course included:  high wire walking over a 12,000 foot ravine, a blindfolded run thru wilderness, climbing a 15 foot pole with a disk on top and flying off, falling backwards into the arms of a group, and partner balancing work on a rope for 2 feet off the ground for 12 feet. I loved every moment.  At the end of 4-days the facilitators asked to see me and told me that someone in Hopi wanted to meet me.  At the time I had no idea what that meant.  I took the high road across Arizona and decided to test some of what I had learned.  As the sun started setting I sent a prayer message ahead that I would find a room for $50.  I arrived at the only town around for miles which was filled with tourist buses and lots of people.  I stopped and asked for a room, there were none.  People were being turned away and told to drive to the next town over 200 miles away.  I decided to drive to another smaller hotel and went in and asked the person at the desk for a room.  He went to get the owner.  I asked if he had a room for $50.  He said no, then said wait a minute and went to confer with his wife.  He came back and said his son was away and I could have his room for $50!   Thank You!  I set my journey to go visit these Hopi people in Arizona on their Mesa.  I arrived at Little Oriabi in Arizona = the oldest settlement in America.  I went into an old building that was a gift shop and bought some earrings and pottery.  I started up the car and ate some blue corn chips and an apple.  I started to leave and heard a knock on my driver’s side window.  There was an old grandmother there.  I rolled the window down and she asked me if I would like to stay and play with her grandchildren.  So I stayed for 3 hours and played on that sacred Hopi land with the children.  I then headed out and visited the Grand Canyon, Sedona, and Spider Rock at Canyon de Chelly.  

Lakota  

In 1993 I moved to New Mexico.  The first event I attended in the first week was a healing class.  During the class I was struck by lightning that came in thru the building went thru me and shorted out the sound system.  After I found a place to live, I went up to Taos and was walking thru a huge antique shop.  A native American man came across the room and handed me an Eagle feather.  I took and said thank you.  When I went outside, he was there and invited me to his home which was on my way back to Santa Fe.   He was Lakota from Pine Ridge, SD.  He showed me how to make prayer ties and taught me some songs from the Lakota tradition.   A few months later, I moved up to his land and rented a small cottage near Dixon, NM.    

In 2002 I rented a big home in Santa Fe.  I became involved with a Lakota man from Rosebud, SD.   We built a Lakota sweat lodge on the property, which involves making 360 prayer ties, cutting the red willow and singing songs.  The relationship was intense and karmic.  Many traditions came to do their ceremonies in the fire pit.  A Mayan priest,  a Hindu Guru and a Celtic bard. In 2005 I rented another big home and helped build a Lakota sweat lodge on the property.  

1/10/04 Chief Selo Black Crow a respected leader of the Oglala Lakota people was brought to my house in a wheel chair.  In 1968, Black Crow, along with Leonard Crow Dog and six other men, brought the Sun Dance back to the Lakota People   We thought he may do a sweat lodge that was happening.  He wasn’t strong enough so I brought him into my healing room.  His friends lifted him out of the wheel chair onto my massage table.  I spent 1 ½ hours working with his spine in silence.  He was lifted back into his chair and everyone left.  

1/11/04 – I was invited out to brunch at a woman’s house.  Chief Selo Black Crow was there and walking around fine with no wheel chair or cane.  I sat down with him and ask about Ghost Dance.  He said to me there is a Ghost Dance song :  “Spirit Woman descends, Thunder Beings bring her back.”  That song would become prophetic in my adventures at Sundance later in the year.  

Lakota Sundance 

In 2004 I was invited to attend two different Lakota Sundance’s. New Mexico  July Sundance is a 4 day ceremony.  The women all wear long dresses and shawls.  I somehow ended up with the drummers and sang for 4 days watching the most incredible ceremony. Not knowing the language or songs, I was told to let go and just sing.  Those sacred songs came through me like an ancient initiation and blessing.   On the last day one of the chiefs of the dance was tethered with a 12 foot rope of buffalo skulls hooked and attached to his back.  He was to pull them around the whole arbor until they broke free of his shoulders.  As he started to dance – I felt something release from my shoulders and simultaneously they broke free of the chief’s shoulders.  He was set free from the suffering.  Rosebud, South Dakota August On the way to the Sundance sight we stopped off at a Holy Man’s property.  I went out by myself to gather sage.  I had a vision of a beautiful woman in white fur on my left side.  That changed everything.  We arrived at the dance just in time to participate in the ceremony of finding, cutting and carrying the Sundance tree that would be covered in prayer flags and set in the center of the arbor for ceremony.  My experience was effable.  I walked with a Lakota woman carrying The Sundance Pipe and a man from the Crow nation.   I went to the arbor to watch the placement of the tree.  I heard a child crying behind me.  I turned around and the child started laughing.  She was sitting with her grandmother who invited me over to them.  This grandmother was Violet Two Eagles.  She asked me some questions.  I told her that I had asked in prayer to find a medicine bag.  Violet told me the Chief of the Sundance – Leonard Crow Dog had asked her to make three bags.  She took me to her camp and let me choose one.  It has the beadwork of the Galaxy on it.  On the 2nd day there I just knew to go to the South East corner of the circle.  I put all black on with a shawl that was black with pink turtles on it.  At one point the chief had all of the dancers turn to the SE with all the chief’s and elders on the front line.  I stood there and just wept from the depths of my being tears of remembering.  Then Chief Leonard Crow Dog came over and knelt before me.    On the 3rd day I went on an excursion to a small gift shop.  Instead of turning into the shop I went right to a hallway and found a grey brain tanned deer skin chanupa (sacred pipe) bag with beadwork on it.  I went into the shop and asked if I could purchase it.  I was told that the Chief’s sister had just brought it in.  It had the beadwork on from the Chief’s father Henry Crow Dog -  with sacred symbols of the Lakota.  

Yaqui 2/14-18/05 – I attended a 5-day seminar on Indigenous Herbs with Mayan grandmother Flora de Mayo (Flor de Mayo is one of the “chosen” 13 Grandmothers that travel around the world) these days at the San Juan Pueblo.   There were several Curandera’s (healers) from Mexico present.  I sat quietly and deeply listen to everything.  At breaks all of the women were in the kitchen chatting.  I sat quietly integrating everything.   

2/18/05 - There was a closing ceremony with a circle with all directions blessed.  When the West was blessed I felt something “jump” in me.  It felt like my whole being had been compromised.  I went outside and tried to throw it up.  I was scared and crying asking for help.  I went in and Grandmother Flor de Mayo walked by.  I stopped her and asked her what had happened.  She said, “You have too much male energy, in three days it will pass”.   On the way home I call Lakota Grandmother Germaine and told her what had happened.  She said, “You lost your Spirit, call it back.”  I got home and knew something was seriously wrong. 

2/19/05 – I went to bed praying for help.  It rained, snowed, and hailed.  I could hardly move.  Lakota man has no idea what to do. 

2/21/05 – Lakota man said he would do a Pipe ceremony in the sweat lodge to see if we could change things.  I was so weak I could hardly walk down to the lodge.  The ceremony didn’t work.  I left praying and praying for help.   Lakota man had  a car accident while out trying to get me some cough medicine. 

2/23/05 – I got an appointment with a Rolfer in town, Bill Smythe.  He worked on me and my diaphragm was so tight.  I left his office still not able to breath and hardly able to walk at this point.   

2/24/05 – I called Lakota man’s mother Flora Mae up in South Dakota to ask for help.  She gave me the name of the person she would go see herself.  It was a Yaquii medicine man named Indio.  I talk with Indio on the phone and felt and saw a light that hadn’t been there.  He agreed to come and see me since I was in no shape to travel.    

2/26/05 – That was the 9th day of my being incapacitated.  The Yaquii medicine man Indio had driven all night long and arrived in the early morning.  He had his daughter and granddaughter with him.  I felt a light sparkling in my field.  I waited.  I was told to come upstairs.  The Yaquii medicine man Indio asked for a dozen eggs.  Lakota man went out to buy them.  The eggs were rubbed all over areas of my body and then broken into a clear class jar.  I didn’t really understand the procedure and I feel a lightening up of my being.  By the time they left I felt like me again.  I have searched far and wide to understand what happened to me.  Some would say I was “slimed” by black magic.  Where did that come from and why didn’t Flora de Mayo help when she had a chance.  She proclaims to be a Mayan medicine woman.  No answers.  

Apache Grandmother Shanadii  

In the spring of 2006 I met a woman at a tea house.  She said she wanted to bring me to a Grandmother from the Native American tradition. We arranged a time and I arrived at a garden tea party where the apache Grandmother Shanadii was.  I was told she was Geronimo’s granddaughter.  Shanadii just looked at me for a while and then asked me some questions.  I had no idea what was going on.   Before I left Shanadii said she was told to give me 2 names.  They are Layla and Lozen.  I had to go research them to discover the meaning.  Layla is a term used to describe a woman of the night.  Lozen is the only woman who rode with Geronimo in battle as was considered to be a Holy Woman, Warrior and shaman.  

In June of 2006 I heard in a lucid dream that woke me up:  THE SUPERSONIC SUPERCHARGED HIGHLY DEVELOPED BRAIN CENTER – JUST CAME OUT OF HIDING.  

 I called a Mexican dream master I was studying with and he made me say it 10 times.  Fall 2006 – Ohio near snake mounds – with Shanandii and a woman named Yvonne in a camper. There was to be the Apache puberty rites for young women and the Apache Walk-back ceremony for women becoming crones.  I ended up wearing Shanandii’s beaded regalia for the walk-back ceremony.  I was 52.  I went right into menopause with ease.  A few months later after experiencing hot flashes I went out naked at night and presented this question:  ‘There must be another way!’  From that moment on the hot flashes ceased.  I went out to Shanadii’s land and participated in Circle ceremonies 12 times in the next year. Around the 11th month an international ceremony was called to honor the Ancestors.  The guests came from all over the world, including:  Malidoma  Some  a shaman from Africa, 4 aboriginal elders from Perth, Australia, and some pueblo elders from New Mexico.  

Zuni  

December 2006 I was invited to go to the Zuni ceremony named Shaliko.  I drove there.  The invitation was from Steven Weiss, DO who had been a member of the Bear Clan of Zuni for over 20 years.  The word was that the two families who usually put this event on are warring with each other.  We are up all night.  At the Folk Art Market in Santa Fe that year I ended up buying a pair of silver earrings inlaid with lapis and mother of pearl from a Zuni grandmother.  They are signed.  At Indian Market in 2019 I was drawn to a specific booth and looked at the jewelry.  It was the artist that had made my earrings.   I had them on, they are signed.  She told me she now longer makes them like that and they are a treasure.    

AYAHUASCA   INITIATION AS AYAHUASCARA

In June of 1999 I stopped at my favorite health food store on Cordova Road in Santa Fe, New Mexico, to get my usual fresh squeezed carrot-ginger juice.  I drank it on my way home which was only 1 mile away.  By the time I got inside my house I was experiencing an intense histamine response and my throat was closing up with my breath was becoming compromised. I took a Benadryl and some homeopathy.  Nothing was working.  I felt like I was dying.  I ran back to the casita that was rented to a meditation teacher on the property.  Fortunately, the teacher was home and took me to the emergency room.  They gave me some kind of anti-histamine in pill form.  I was able to go home within an hour breathing better. When I arrived home , I had a message from the director of the Doctorial program I was enrolled in.  He invited me to  a  lecture that was being given by a visiting Peruvian Shaman that evening.  I decided to go even though I wasn’t fully recovered.   At the lecture a man sitting behind me reached forward and touched my left arm and all of a sudden, I could breathe again.  This man was then introduced as the guest lecturer and proceeded to talk for 90 minutes.  After the lecture I and the other doctorial students were invited to attend an Ayahuasca ceremony the next weekend.  We were to follow a special diet and wear all white.   The day of the ceremony we all showed up a private home location where a room had been cleared of all furniture.  I really had no idea what I was getting ready to participate in.  The lights were lowered and 12 of us plus the shaman sat in a circle.  Someone came around with sage and smudged us.  We were then each asked to drink a cup of the ayahuasca.  We were given a bowl to purge into.  It tasted very strange and herby.  The shaman began to sing songs called Icaros in the Spanish Peruvian language.  After about an hour, gradually you could hear individuals purging into their bowl.  I felt like something inside me was purifying my body.  Sometime, hours later I realized everyone in the room was laying down sleeping.  I had remained in a sitting position – somewhat leaning over my feet.  Then I felt a presence lift me upright.  The shaman and I were the only ones awake.  He moved over in front of me and put the soles of his feet against my feet and began singing.  This presence known as Mother Ayahuasca moved thru every cell of my body and aspect of my consciousness.  I sat there for another hour  integrating the initiation.   

EMPOWERMENTS IN ALL 5 FAMILIES

INITIATION 1973 MEDITATION

REMEMBERING  INITIATION  AYAHUASCA